


Fears of the Void

by BattleBrooks



Series: Kindred Light Clan [1]
Category: Destiny (Video Game)
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Father-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 05:32:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12720621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BattleBrooks/pseuds/BattleBrooks
Summary: When Carver discovers his daughter, Carina, has inherited his Warlock abilities, he starts having nightmares about her safety as well as his own origins.





	Fears of the Void

**Author's Note:**

> I had a dream about Carver having nightmares around when I started working on his origin story which led to this.

Carver hadn’t expected it, at least not this soon. Carina always enjoyed watching him conjure Void Light in his hands for her to watch. She always said it looked like the stars in the night sky, that they were beautiful. He thought nothing of it when she had asked to see the stars again. She was a very curious child. Only 10 years old and already wanting to learn about the guardians and the Light, wanting to go to the Tower and meet with her aunts and uncles. Carver smiled at her and did as she asked, letting the Void Light swirl around in his hands as she watched with her bright eyes and wide smile. After a few moments, his wife called to him in need of assistance. He dropped his hands, letting the Light dissipate as he stood, leaving the room.

Carver returned a short time later to his daughter sitting on the floor, giggling to herself.

“Carina,” he called, “what are laughing at? What do you have there?”

She turned her head, eyes beaming.

“Papa! Look! I can hold the stars too!” A huge smile on her face as she the rest of her body, showing her cupping a small bit of Void Light in her hands.

His hand covered his mouth as his heart sank into his stomach. He tried to hide his worry and kneeled down to her, cupping her hands in his as he watched the Void Light swirl in their hands together.

“Carina, darling, how were you able to do this?”

“I just grabbed it, Papa. When you went to see Mama, I saw them floating away but I still wanted to see them so I tried to hold it like you do but most of it went away. I just got this little bit but they’re still really cute.”

“Okay Sweetie, let’s put the stars away for tonight, alright? We can look at them again tomorrow, it’s getting late and it’s almost your bedtime.”

“Awww Papa, I don’t want to go to bed,” she whined, “can’t I stay up with you and Mama?”

“Not until your older,” he chuckled, “now run along, say goodnight to Mama and we’ll be in to read to you.”

Grumbling, Carina pulled her hands away from his, and running off to find her mother. Sighing, Carver stood, turning the light off to his study and closing the door. In the hallway he saw Carina pulling at Cornelia's hand to her room. Seeing Carver, Cornelia stopped, picking up Carina and walking over to him first before they headed to the small bedroom.

“So Carina had an interesting story tonight, that she got to ‘hold the stars like Papa does,’” she said as they got to the room, laying Carina down into her bed, “Care to elaborate, Dear?”

His lips thinned as he met his wife’s eyes, she frowned, nodding as she plucked one of the children’s books off the shelf next to Carina’s bed. Together they read to their daughter, about countless brave guardians that protected their City. Carina, eyes wide in awe as she held her toys close. They read on and slowly but surely, Carina's eyes gradually closed and the child was asleep. The two parents placed the book back to its place on the shelf and quietly slipping out of the room. Carver carefully closed the door and rubbed the back of his neck and grabbed his wife’s hand with his free one.

“Well?” Cornelia prompted, tugging at his hand, leading him back to their room, “you seem distressed, Carver. What happened?”

“Carina wanted to see the Void Light again. I mean I do it all the time so I just did. When you called for me earlier, though, I had stopped to go to you but she…I mean I am just at a loss at how she did it, I don’t even know what to think. But she somehow was able to harness that little bit of Void energy and held it in her hand too. Not as much as I did but that’s not what worries me-“

“Carver, calm down,” they sat on their bed, Carver putting his head into his hands, “Darling…I know you’re worried but all this means is that she can manipulate Light, and if we keep an eye on it we can make sure she stays safe until she’s old enough to start training and honing her skills.”

“But it’s the Void-“

“The Void is no different than Arc or Solar, Carver. It’s an energy source that we can use with our Light. You use it responsibly and that’s how it is. It’s the same with any guardian, it comes down to the training to the eventual mastery of that element.”

Carver pinched the bridge of his nose, teeth clenched.

“Carver, how about you consult Ikora when she returns in a few weeks? We can keep an eye on Carina until then,” Cornelia smiled, squeezing his hand in hers.

“Perhaps you’re right. It’s just the Void was the very first element I used and it nearly ruined me, I can’t help but be concerned that she's been able to interact with it already. I have no doubts in her abilities later on as a Warlock but this is too soon.”

Cornelia moves closer, resting her head on his shoulder, shifting her arms and wraps them around his waist, hugging him tight.

“Carver…I couldn’t and still can’t imagine what you went through on the moon after your resurrection, being all alone and surrounded by the Hive. But Carina is here in the City, with her two loving parents and the other guardians that know and love her, as well as the Vanguard. She’s in a safe place to learn about her Light and will be able to master her powers.”

After a few moments pass, Carver sighed one final time.

“Alright, I guess there’s nothing else we can really do then, is there? We'll just have to go to Ikora when she gets back. Come on, Love, let’s get to sleep or I'll be up all night.”

“Aww you’re a bore,” she pouted, pecking his cheek, “I love you, Carver.”

“And you, my dear,” he hummed, returning the kiss.

They changed clothes, settled into their bed for the night, and turned the lights off. Carver turned and pulled his wife against him. Her back against his chest, arm delicately resting over her side, his face burrowed in her soft purple hair as they drifted off to sleep.

_________

_Carver opened his eyes and he gasped in surprise._

_He stood out in a barren section of the moon, untouched, even from the Golden Age. His chest tight as he tried to breathe. He couldn’t figure out why his armor wasn’t functioning, that had to the reason. He looked down to his armor but was surprised that he wasn’t in any armor at all, but his clothes that he had worn that day. He felt heavy and fell to his knees, gasping for air that he couldn’t get. He slowly sat back, crossed his legs and closed his eyes. As he got more comfortable, he was able to take a breath and sigh in relief._

_He sat and meditated for a while before a presence nudged at his mind. He ignored it at first but it slowly crept along his arms up to his chest and head. It ached as it started to make its way all over his body, smothering him._

_His eyes opened as he coughed and gagged, hunching over as he tried to catch his breathe once more. A shadow on the ground came into view and he lifted his head. I shadowy figure sat in front of him with its eyes closed. He sat up and looked at the figure, studying its face._

_His face. As if looking in a mirror. Just as he was about to attempt to speak, the figure opened its eyes and stared at him, with burning purple eyes._

_________

Carver awoke, eyes wide, sitting up slowly as to not disturb his still sleeping wife. After a brief moment he took a deep breath and wiped the bit of sweat off his forehead. Looking out the window, it was a little before dawn. Not much earlier than he’d wake normally, he decided to get up instead of going back to sleep and head to his study. Luna, his ghost, trailing along side him as he sat at his desk, checking for what duties at the Tower needed his attention today.

“Carver, you want to talk about your nightmare?” she prompted, “You haven’t had one in such a long time, are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Little Light,” he teased, “it was nothing. I was on the moon without my armor but that was about it.”

“Without your armor? Do you think it means something?”

“Heh, no, it doesn’t. It’s just a dream, Luna. No mystical meaning to it.”

“If you say so,” sighed, looking over his shoulder to read his tablet, “There’s a message from Grier, wants help looking for wormspore on the Dreadnaught.”

“I see that, I have nothing else that needs attention so might as well. Better than sitting around all day.”

Stretching, he messaged his friend and arranged a time to meet up at the Tower. He stood and went back to his room before stopping at Carina’s door. He carefully opened the door and looked in at his daughter, smiling softly. Tiptoeing in, he knelt down and kissed her forehead softly.

She stirred and turned over, clutching at her toy. He smiled, standing and going back out to the hallway, closing the door once more. As he turned to return to his room he ran right into Cornelia.

“You’re up early,” Cornelia smirked, “plans today?”

“Just helping Grier gather some materials from the Dreadnaught, nothing major.”

“Major enough to be up over an hour earlier than you usually do though, it seems.”

“No, I just woke up early and I saw no point in trying to go back to sleep if I was getting up soon anyway,” he huffed.

“Something on your mind? I mean more so than usual for a Warlock,” she grinned teasingly.

“No, nothing more than I already keep myself preoccupied with. If you’re finished with the interrogation, I’d like to get ready.”

“’Interrogation’? I wasn’t interrogating you, Carver. You should go back to sleep if you’re gonna be a grouch today,” she folded her arms, blocking his way.

“I didn’t mean for it to sound that way, I just woke up a few minutes ago. I’m sorry,” he frowned, gently pulling her close, resting his head on her shoulder.

Cornelia unfolded her arms and squeezed her husband a few moments before pulling away, lifting her hands and cupping his face.

“It’s okay, it’s always fun pestering you, Dear,” she grinned again, letting go and moving out of his way, “Say, I’m taking Caring out into the City today to play in the park with the other kids. Would you like to join us when you get back?”

“Probably not today, Grier likes taking his time with this and the Taken don’t make it easy to get through the Dreadnaught quickly. I mean maybe if I can get Avia to join it might go a bit faster but I’m not sure.”

“That’s okay then, we’ll all go down some other day then. I already promised Carina yesterday so I can’t tell her no, but she’ll be glad to have you along next time.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Not until after noon or so, but will still give her plenty of time to play with other kids for a change. There’s only so much the guardians here can do to entertain a child before you just need to let them be with other children. We should make more time though, she’s growing up fast, especially for us.”

“I know, I know,” Carver smiled, “I try to keep myself as free as I can for her but there’s just so much to do.”

“And here I thought you leaving the Hidden would change that,” she chuckled a moment before pausing, “do you miss it? Being with the Hidden?”

“Occasionally, but I prefer things the way they are already. Being able to be home more with you and Carina.”

“Will you ever go back?”

“I…I don’t know, to be honest. I’d like to one day, but I couldn’t bear to think of leaving you two alone for so long with how some of the infiltrations go.”

Nodding, she grabbed his face once more, pecking his lips before moving on. Carver returned to his room finally and changed into his armor, checking he had all his gear, he finally was ready to head to the Tower and meet up with Grier. Luna sent a message to Grier letting him know they were on their way as they walked out.

“I’m thinking of collecting some wormspore myself to study later tonight. I haven’t spent much time with it yet but Grier is constantly collecting the stuff. I wonder if it can be used with any weapons or armor,” Carver said to Luna, “Any other resources we need to collect? Grier may need other stuff too.”

“Your stock of helium filaments are low, shall we head to the moon? I’m sure we’ll find plen-“

“No, that can wait,” he interrupted, “let’s just get to the Dreadnaught.”

Luna didn’t say anything but Carver can feel her staring, before she could question, a soft voice called to them.

“Papa! Luna! Are you leaving already?” Carina stood in the doorway, clutching her toy ghost, “but it’s so early!”

“Sorry Starlight,” Carver frowned, “your Uncle Grier needs help with work today so I’m going to help him.”

“Uncle Grier needs to come here instead!”

“Yes, I’m sure he’d be delighted to see you! But I’m sorry it can’t be today.”

“Are you coming to the City with Mama and me?”

“I can’t today but I promise I will soon!” Carver smiled widely, going and lifting Carina up into his arms, “I know you want me to come but we will, okay? I love you so much!”

Carina pouted and Carver kissed her cheeks over and over until she squealed, trying to push his face away.

Giving her one last kiss on her forehead, he put her down, waving good bye to her and calling out to Cornelia, he went out the front door and walked to the Tower.

A short while later, Carver walked into the open plaza at the top of the Tower, guardians coming and going, some leaning against the vaults, while others just stood and made conversation with one another. Walking through the crowd, he went to one of the vaults and pulled out a couple guns as well as a sword and some ammo synthesis packs in case they couldn’t find any. Quickly loading up, he jogged over to the hangar where Grier would meet him. Carver found him as he waited for his ship and called out to him. Grier looked over with a smile and met him halfway.

“Carver! Thank you for coming with me, the Hive have been a bit more active so there should be more wormspore to collect,” he was grinning ear to ear, “the Taken have to be on the move too, we’re so close to being ready for the raid into Oryx’s throne world. I want to make sure we have what we need.”

“As long as you don’t eat the stuff, collect as much as you’d like. I’m going to get some for my own studies as well if you don’t mind me keeping some for myself.”

“Now I want to try it, Carver!” he whined, “also take as much as you need, it’s not like it all belongs to me.”

The two Warlocks summoned their ships and they flew off towards Saturn. Landing in the hull breach, they started by eliminating many of the Cabal and Hive and began their search. Since they were gathering materials and only fighting off immediate threats the time passed a decent pace and the hours passed.

Some while later, Carver yawned and stretched, collecting some wormspore he found in a pile of rubble. Grier had found much more than he did but they walked together most of the time, he eyed Carver after he yawned what seemed to be close to 10 times.

“If you’re this bored, you can head back,” Grier laughed, “I’ll be fine on my own I just thought having someone with me would make it go faster. Maybe Avia could meet me here and search with me? She might get bored too though.”

“My apologies, I didn’t sleep very well last night,” Carver admitted, “Cornelia and Luna were asking about it but I didn’t feel like talking about it. I had an odd dream that I don’t even really remember so there’s not much to talk about aside from it happened, if that makes sense.”

“I knew it,” Luna piped up, Carver rolling his eyes, shooing her away, “he said he was on the moon but wouldn’t say much after that.”

“Ignore her,” he sighed.

“I mean it’s a starting point,” Grier countered, “Think there’s a reason why? Is something on your mind?”

“No, I don’t think it means anything but there is something on my mind,” he sighed, “I’m worried about Carina.”

“Carina? Is she okay? Did something happen?”

“No, no. She’s fine, she had just done something that worried me and I’m waiting for Ikora’s return.”

“What did she do?”

“She held a bit of Void Light that I brought up for her to look at. I let it fade because Cornelia needed me, but without me noticing, she managed to…grab at the Void Light I conjured and hold it herself.”

“You’re worried that she did that?” he asked, tilting his head a little, “I mean I know the Void can be misunderstood but do you think it’s dangerous to her?”

“That’s why I’m worried, I’m not sure. I have no idea how she felt while wielding it but I do know how dangerous it could be.”

“Just because it could be doesn’t mean it will be, Carver. I agree you should talk to Ikora for more guidance but you are more intune with the Void than I could be. I also trust your judgement when it comes to the Void, you should trust in your judgement as well.”

“That’s just it, I don’t know what to do. I want to keep her safe, she’s too young to be using her Light just yet.”

“What will you do until Ikora returns?”

“I guess just keep an eye on her? Make sure she doesn’t try to use her powers or use my Light to do so like she did before.”

“Then go do that. If she’s only just discovering her powers, she may be tempted to try again. Assuming she’s going to be a Warlock just like her father.”

“I never thought of that possibility,” Carver said, putting his hand to his chin in thought, “I should get back to them, I told Cornelia what she did so I would hope she’d keep an eye an her to make sure it doesn’t happen but I don’t know if she would think Carina would try on her own. Despite how young she is, she’s quite clever.”

“As I said, I’ll be fine on my own. Thank you for your help though, hope your studies go well.”

“Thank you, Grier. I probably should’ve just been honest with Cornelia when she asked, I owe her an apology.”

“Then go apologize? I’m pretty sure she’ll forgive you. Though I don’t think you should waste your time here if you want to get back home.”

“I suppose I should be glad Avia isn’t here,” he sighed, “she wouldn’t be as nice about all this as you.”

“I’m telling her you said that,” Grier snickered.

“I accept my fate, at least wait until I get back before you do,” he laughed, bidding his friend farewell and headed back to Earth. He had Luna send a message to Cornelia that he was returning early and would want to meet up to talk.

_________

Although not returning until after sunset, Carver returned home, eager to see his wife. He saw her sitting on the couch and went to join her, putting his hand on her shoulder.

“Cornelia? I need to talk to you. I wanted to apologize about this morning, I wasn’t being completely honest with you about…well everything. I just wanted a chance to expla-“

“Carver, I understand what you want to talk about but we need to talk about Carina.”

“Wait, Cornelia what happened? Is Carina alright?”

“She’s fine but I didn’t think she would try to-“

“Try what?”

“Carina tried to summon Void Light. Thankfully it was here and not out in the City, but I didn’t think she would try so soon. I told her that she should wait until you got back but she had tried when I wasn’t looking. She…she burned her hands a little-“

“She what!?” Carver exclaimed, standing, “this is what I was worried about! Are you sure she’s alright!?”

“Carver, please calm down! I know you were worried but she’s fine, my ghost was able to heal them and even then they weren’t that serious.”

“How can I calm down when she got hurt because of me!?” he cried, tears prickling in his eyes.

“Carver this isn’t your fault, it was an accident.”

“If I hadn’t showed her Void Light at all she wouldn’t even have tried,” he frowned.

“It’s not your fault,” she repeated, “and keep your voice down, she’s in bed now. She was upset but she’s calmed down. I explained to her that it was why we wanted her to wait for you to get home.”

“Cornelia…”

“Carver please listen to me. This wasn’t your fault and Ikora will have a better idea what to do and probably when we should start her training. Trust me on this, okay? If you want to check on her go ahead. Just don’t wake her.”

“Alright,” he sighed, “I’m a bit tired so I’m heading to bed after I check on her. Can we talk tomorrow then?”

“Of course, I think today has been a bit exciting for all of us,” she tried to smile it off but Carver could see she was worried about today.

Carver kissed his wife goodnight and went to Carina’s room. Like this morning, he quietly snuck into her room and knelt down beside her bed and watched her sleep for a few minutes. He gently took her hands into his, softly kissing the palms. He couldn’t help but imagine being there when it happened, seeing the accident happen as the Void burned her hands. His body trembled as tears ran down his cheeks, releasing her hands and covering his own face, holding in the sobs.

Cornelia stood behind him at the door, frowning. She knew she couldn’t talk him out of blaming himself but she had to try for his sake. She backed away when he stood, giving him space once he left Carina’s room and headed to their own. She grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug and held him tight, tears in her eyes too.

“We’ll figure this out, I promise,” she whispered.

They both got ready for bed for the night like usual afterwards, taking quick showers and changing into their nightwear. They curled up next to one another, Carver holding his wife close as Cornelia buried her face into his chest and holding him close as well. Soon the two fell asleep, both with troubled minds.

_________

_Carver opened his eyes, back on the moon, and was once more face to face with the shadow figure. He tried to study the figure, figure out what it was, as he looked on, his head started to throb. The figure stood in front of Carver, head slightly tilted. It’s eyes burned a bright purple and a purple liquid dripped from its eyes, as if it was lava dripping down its face._

_“Failure…” was the only word it spoke. Carver couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t tell right away, but the figure looked like him he thought. He couldn’t make out small details but he could see just enough similarities as if he was looking in a mirror._

_He opened his mouth, trying and failing to speak to the stranger, his head started aching more and it felt as if a hand was gripping the insides of his chest. He ached all over, every muscle in his body felt stiff and lethargic. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think._

_The figure stepped back, and vanished into smoke. The gripping sensation fell away along with it. Taking a few shaking breaths, Carver looked around before a loud crack made him freeze._

_Looking down, the ground beneath his feet crumbled and broke away as he fell into the dark pit, his screams echoing on the way down._

_He slammed down into a small cave, weakly opening his eyes, he sat up and saw that this cave was carved out by the Hive. He felt his own heart beating as he stood, started making his way through the dark. After a short while he came to an opening, it was dimly lit but at least he could see. He wondered how far below the moons surface he was. He had to get back up if he wanted to get off the moon and back to Earth._

_The room started to shake and Carver clung to the nearest wall. A black ooze started seeping through cracks that formed as the room too started to crumble. The black ooze didn’t pool on the ground though, it spread all along the walls and floor as if it was alive. Carver backed away and tried to escape but the path he came from had closed up as if it were never there._

_He avoided it as much as he could but was eventually cornered. He felt it crawl up his legs and he couldn’t move. He tried to pull it off him but as he touched it, it spread to his hands and climbed his arms. His eyes were wide as he still tried to pull it off his arms, begging in his mind for it to stop. He felt it on his neck and creeping up his face as he squeezed his eyes shut._

_________

Carver jolted awake, sitting up quickly, panting heavily. His hands going to his neck, not feeling anything be sighed heavily. He glanced over to his side, Cornelia still fast asleep facing away from him. He felt his heart racing in his chest, head throbbing with each beat. After a few moments he was able to collect himself and looked outside, it wasn’t even close to dawn yet and he could still see the moon hanging in the sky. Seeing it made him uneasy so careful not to disturb Cornelia, he got up and closed the blinds to their room before laying back in bed, taking a deep breath and attempted to fall asleep once more.

_________

_He was trapped once more. The black ooze that once filled the room was gone but it had a firm hold on his body. He struggled to move but it was useless, a snapping sound above him caught his attention. He glanced up as much as he could and the roof above him crumbled as a body fell through it. He was frozen at who he saw as they stood. He recognized that armor, how could he forget how flimsy it was, it had only barely protected him when he was first resurrected. He couldn’t see the face but the way the one before him stood, the Knight’s sword in their hand. It was himself when he was stranded._

_The younger version of himself turned to face him, emotionless. Carver still couldn’t move, he couldn’t understand what was happening. How was a…a clone of himself here? What is going on?_

_Wordlessly, his younger self lifted the sword to his chest._

_“Failure,” he said, “seems that’s all I will ever be.”_

_Carver was speechless, unable to respond, the younger one stayed emotionless._

_“What a waste of a Warlock,” the younger muttered, running the sword through Carver’s chest. Carver screamed, feeling the blade rip away at him, coughing out blood. His body twitched as blood ran down the blade, pooling under them both._

__

_In a flash of purple light, the younger version of Carver was solid black with the same purple eyes as before but it looked more refined, like it had somehow just aged without changing form._

_He could see more of the shadow figures forming around the both of them. His vision was blurred by the pain, his eyes slipping closed and it felt like he was falling._

_Opening his eyes briefly at the falling sensation, the large pool of blood under him was like it had become infinite as he sunk into it like it had absorbed him. He felt like he was drowning, the wound in his chest still open as he reached to grab at it. He fell and fell and his eyes slipped closed again just before it felt like he was going to hit ground._

_________

Awaking again, Carver gave up on sleeping the rest of that night. And most nights after that.

The couple days he got little sleep he would spend in his study, reading as much as he could to distract himself from the dreams. Eventually Cornelia started to catch on that he wasn’t sleeping as often, and started asking him about it.

“I just want to read more on the Void is all, I’ve had long nights like this before it’s nothing new. I promise I’m fine,” Carver lied, he smiled softly, trying to hide the exhaustion he’d been feeling.

And quickly the days turned into a couple weeks and Carver had stopped trying to hide it. He barely went to bed with Cornelia anymore, making empty promises to join her later in the night. They both knew he wouldn’t though but that didn’t stop her from trying every night.

“Carver please, you haven’t slept in days. Come to bed with me tonight, if not for your own sake but for mine?”

“I-I can’t. I need to know more. I’ll be in soon, I promise,” he sighed, “Just need to check a couple more things before.”

“Carver…” she tried.

“I’m fine, Cornelia. I’ll be just fine once I find what I’m looking for.”

“And what exactly are you looking for, Carver?” she pressed.

“I’ll let you know when I find it,” he answered dryly.

“Carver you can’t keep doing this. You’re running yourself ragged, you haven’t slept in over two weeks and you won’t even tell me why. What has you so worked up that you can’t even sleep? Is it about Carina?”

“Of course it is,” he snapped, “it always has been. I need to protect her and I will do everything in my power to do so! How can I be a father if I can’t keep my own child safe!?”

“Working yourself to the point you can’t even keep your eyes open isn’t the way to do it, Carver. Being her father means being here with her, not locked up in this study of yours all day and night. Have you even realized she’s asked for you every day this past week?”

Clenching his teeth, Carver stayed quiet.

“Of course you haven’t, you’ve been cooped up in here the whole time or out in the Warlock libraries. You can protect her by being here for her, playing with her, you know, actually acting like a father?”

The words stung, his eyes hurt and his whole head felt heavy.

“Where is she now?” he asked softly.

“Asleep. It’s well past midnight, Carver. Please…I’m begging you, please come to bed.”

He didn’t answer. Not right away. He thought about the last time he slept and the nightmare came to the forefront to his mind and he winced, remembering it all.

“I can’t, they’ll come back.”

“You’re probably so tired you won’t even have the chance to dream, Darling.”

She came up to his chair, resting a hand on his shoulder as he sat hunched over his desk. He looked up at her and she saw the bags under his eyes, felt the way his body trembled from exhaustion. His eyes were red and saw dried tears on his face. He’s hidden so much from her and he could see in her eyes that it pained her to see him this way.

Without a word he stood, taking her hand off his shoulder and held it tight.

“I’m going to bed,” he announced, walking away, his hand releasing its grasp on hers. Cornelia smiled a moment and followed him.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

He hummed in response and they laid together. He felt heavy as he laid there, his head swimming so much it hurt. He felt Cornelia curl into his side, wrapping her arms around his waist. He really didn’t want to sleep but the pull was too much and he fell asleep.

_________

_He was on the surface of the moon again. He looked around not seeing anyone around him. But he knew better than that._

_“Where are you!?” he shouted at nothing, looking around._

_Turning around, the figure of shadowed figure of himself was there, lunging and grabbing him by the throat._

_“How could you do it?” it asked him, “she’s your daughter, isn’t she?”_

_He grabbed at the arm._

_“I-I didn’t d-do anything to her,” he replied._

_“Then how did she get injured if you didn’t do anything?” it taunted, “I mean you’re the one who showed her how, didn’t you?”_

_“I-I didn’t show her anything! She just was able to hold onto it. How was I supposed to know?”_

_“You’re her father! One of the oldest Warlocks and a powerful one at that. How naïve of you to think she wouldn’t inherit that kind of power. Her mother is a very powerful Titan as well, what’s you’re excuse now?”_

_“Just because we’re guardians doesn’t mean she would’ve been one. She could’ve been a regular Awoken girl for all we knew.”_

_“Quit making excuses, Carver,” a voice spoke behind him, “it’s your own fault just get this over with.”_

_There was another figure, but this one was different. It didn’t look like the one holding onto him. It was similar though in being completely back with burning purple eyes._

_“G-Grier?”_

_“Carver, you wound me. You’re one of the greatest Voidwalkers in the Tower, how is it you overlooked such a massive possibility? Poor Carina, she doesn’t deserve this.”_

_“Grier you don’t understand! I-It was an accident, I didn’t know she would try to use the Void on her own!”_

_“With you as her father, it was bound to happen,” the fake Grier snickered, “How unfortunate.”_

_“B-But! I-I...” Carver tried before being interrupted by another figure that formed next to Grier._

_“Wow you’re even dumber for a Warlock than I ever imagined, that poor girl is going to suffer like you.”_

_“A-Avia…p-please it isn’t like that, why can’t you trust me!?”_

_“HA!” she laughed, “Trust you!? Why would anyone do that? After what you’ve done to Carina, no one is going to trust you again!”_

_“I-I’m trying to fix this, I swear!! I just need time!” he cried out to his friends._

_“It’ll be too late by the time you do,” another spoke, Russell, “Never thought after all those years I spent to help you, you’d turn around and inflict that same torment onto your own daughter.”_

_“Please! I would never do that to her. I love her with all my heart. I swore to Cornelia that I would do everything in my power to protect her!” he cried, tears running down his face, he ached all over as he looked ahead at the figure of himself, its hand still around his throat._

_“I love Carina,” he sobbed, “That’s why I’m doing all this, to find a way to protect her.”_

_“You failed,” it replied, “she injured herself because of you, it’ll only be a matter of time before the Void consumes her as well. You remember, don’t you? That burning desire to destroy everything? She’s going to feel just the same. She’ll crave it like you did. Can you still feel it, I wonder?”_

_It was as if the world was spinning around him, his friends laughing and mocking him as he was released finally. Carver fell to his hands and knees, coughing as he took a proper breath. A throbbing pain in his head as he stood, and he could feel it._

_That burning inside his body._

_He wrapped his arms around himself, biting his lip as he tried to will that feeling aside._

_“No. Not again, I refuse to fall into that much despair again. It won’t happen!” he shouted at himself._

_“Papa?” a small voice came forth, and he felt his whole body go cold._

_“C-Carina..” he couldn’t see her, he looked around but she wasn’t there._

_“Papa why did the stars hurt me?” she whimpered._

_“Starlight, it was only an accident, your mother and I just need to start teaching you how to control it. I-It had hurt me too,” he admitted, he still couldn’t find her. Maybe she hadn’t been given a form like the others._

__

_“Then why haven’t you? I‘ve been here scared and alone with Mama and I didn’t know where you were,” she cried softly, “Why didn’t you help me?”_

__

_“I didn’t know how…I-I was too scared!”_

__

_Carina wasn’t speaking after that and he panicked. He had to find her, he got up and moved to anywhere he could, just trying to look for her. He could see his friends still as they watched him and he felt scared suddenly. He got up and ran, but it was no use, no matter how fast he ran he was still in the same area._

__

_They mocked, criticized, and laughed at his cowardice._

__

_“Look! He’s running away!”_

__

_“Coward!”_

__

_“How disappointing.”_

__

_He stood there and covered his ears, their voices drilling into his mind._

__

_“Shut up! Leave me alone!”_

__

_“Carver.”_

__

_He cried and weakly looked up as another familiar voice called to him._

__

_“Cornelia…” he sobbed, “I’m sorry…”_

__

_He didn’t move as she walked towards him. She wasn’t as dark as the others, he could make out more of her features but her eyes were just as bright as the others as well as those purple tears._

__

_“Carver,” she growled._

__

_He whimpered as she stopped right in front of him, her hands grabbing his face. He flinched as he felt her tighten her grip on him, nails digging into his skin and blood beading around her fingers._

__

_“Nothing you can do to me I haven’t already done to myself…” he whispered to her, tears streaming down his cheeks, mixing with the blood. He lifted his hands and lightly grabbed her wrists, her body burned to the touch but he didn’t care, he saw how furious she was, he deserved it. She tightened her grip even more as he squeezed his eyes shut._

__

_“Carver.”_

__

_“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”_

__

_“Carver!”_

__

_________

__

“Carver! Wake up!”

__

His eyes shot open, his vision a blur as it slowly cleared up and saw Cornelia kneeling over him on their bed. She gently touched his cheek, gently brushing his tears away. It was as if the touch shocked him and he pushed her hands away, sitting up and breathing heavily. He desperately wiped the tears that were all over his face away, trying to calm himself.

__

“Carver?” she whispered, “Carver, are you alright? Please talk to me.”

__

“Wh-what happened?” he asked between pants.

__

“You had started talking in your sleep. I was going to leave you alone but you had started crying and you looked and sounded like you were in pain. It took forever to wake you up, you started to shout a bit and I wanted to get you awake before you woke Carina so I pinched your cheeks a bit, sorry about that by the way.”

__

“It’s fine, prefer you do that than let her get woken up.”

__

They sat in silence for a few moments, Carver breaking the silence.

__

“What time is it?”

__

“A little after 3 in the morning,” she replied, looking over at their clock.

__

Carver huffed, only a couple hours since going to bed. He stretched and yawned, looking out the window, seeing the moon hanging in the sky. Cornelia must’ve reopened the blinds at some point he thought to himself. He shifted so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, took a deep breath to ground himself before standing.

__

“Where are you going?” Cornelia asked, something in her voice sounded pained, as if he was leaving for good.

__

“I need to clear my head, I have a lot on my mind,” he whispered. As he started to walk away she caught his hand, he looked back at her. She didn’t say anything but he could see she wanted him to stay, but instead she gave his hand a gentle squeeze and let him go.

__

He hesitated afterwards, watching her lay back down. Turning away he grabbed his armor, dressing quickly and leaving. He summoned Luna and asked to take them to the moon. She did as asked and they had quickly flown out. He didn’t even bother grabbing any weapons from the vault, he wasn’t looking for any fights at all. After landing, he cautiously made his way over the moons surface. Finding some caves the Fallen had carved out when they had a claim on this section of territory. He went inside, it was dark like the Hive tunnels, so Luna came up and illuminated the cave. Carver went as far back in as he could before sitting down with his back to the wall.

__

“I’m just going to meditate here for a bit, Luna. Just make sure nothing comes crawling in, other than that please try not to disturb me.”

__

“Of course,” was all she said, dimming her light to let him focus.

__

Taking deep breaths, he closed his eyes.

__

It wasn’t like his dreams, it felt more grounded and less flimsy like they did. Like the ground won’t move from under his feet. He relaxed and rolled his shoulders, popping the joints. He sat for a bit before he was able to fully clear his mind.

__

_________

__

_This wasn’t a dream. Not this time._

__

_Carver sat in a open space, he saw shadows circling around him. He wasn’t afraid, and they weren’t what he wanted to see. They stopped their circling and he could make out the shapes of his friends and wife they took._

__

_Go away._

__

_A firm thought and they melted into nothing as they looked to one another, their purple eyes fading to black as they disappeared. Carver sat in silence, he could feel a shadow crawling up his body, slowly enveloping him as he sat. Once it surrounded him it stayed briefly before pulling away, forming a copy of himself. The new figure looked up at him._

__

_“I’m tired,” Carver said shortly._

__

_“I see,” it hummed, “to think after all these centuries, you’re still scared of the Void. Some Voidwalker you are.”_

__

_“I don’t care about that. It’s Carina’s safety I’m concerned about.”_

__

_“Of course, she’s your daughter after all. It’s only natural. Your fear is what’s preventing you from truly protecting her.”_

__

_“I know that now,” Carver sighed, “I wish I had seen it sooner. If I had just taught her the moment she held onto it on how to use it properly she wouldn’t have hurt herself.”_

__

_“She held Void Light and you were afraid. Afraid that everything you worked towards would come crumbling down. The Void had consumed you, you slaughtered countless Hive and Fallen just to make yourself feel better. You saw yourself in her and you ran.”_

__

_“I know.”_

__

_“So what are you going to do about it?”_

__

_“Stop running,” he answered, “I need to be honest with her and Cornelia. About everything and do what I should’ve done as her father and teach her.”_

__

_“Smart man,” it chuckled._

__

_For the first time in weeks Carver started to feel at peace again._

__

_“I’m not too sure about that with how foolish I’ve been,” Carver snickered._

__

_“Doesn’t change how much knowledge you possess. Fear is natural, you’ve accepted that after all your fighting. The Void is mysterious, indeed. Not many can understand it like you can. Trust in your knowledge and abilities and your family will be fine.”_

__

_The figure faded away and Carver was alone._

__

_________

__

Carver opened his eyes and he was back in the cave. He glanced around and Luna was floating around him, like she wanted to speak to him.

__

“Luna?”

__

“Oh! Carver,” she said, perking up at her name, “I’m sensing Cornelia nearby, are you okay to see her?”

__

“Yeah, ping her ghost so she doesn’t have to go searching for us anymore,” he said, getting up and leaving the cave.

__

A few moments pass and Cornelia is spotted jogging up to them, he relaxes as she reaches him, opening his arms and wraps them around her.

__

“Cornelia, I owe more apologies than the number of years I’ve been alive, I am so sorry for everything,” he muttered.

__

She pulled away, after a moment she headbutted him, him yelping in surprise.

__

“Well of course you do,” he could just see the smirk on her face under her helmet, “Do you know how long it took to convince Grier and Avia to come to the house this late to watch Carina while I came to find you? It’s almost dawn back home, she’s gonna be waking up soon.”

__

“I-I know, I just had to clear my head at least once and I knew putting it off would only make it worse. I’ve made you worry over me for over two weeks, I’m sorry.”

__

“Apologize all you want, are you actually going to explain everything to me now?”

__

“Yes,” he replied immediately, “I’ll tell you everything and answer every question you have.”

__

“Alright, let’s start simple,” she started, “are the nightmares why you haven’t been sleeping?”

__

The two walked together for several hours, Carver explaining his fears and his nightmares to Cornelia, who listened fully and interrupted as little as possible. She asked about specifics of the nightmares, who were in them and what was said, she wanted to understand everything. And he told her everything, down to the last moment of the most recent dream where Cornelia herself lashed out at Carver in the nightmares. She shuttered at the thought of harming her own husband, but she understood it was his own mind dealing with the stress and the guilt.

__

“I wish you would’ve told me,” she could help but whisper.

__

“I was too ashamed of myself to admit it,” he sighed, “I was clouded by my own fear that I couldn’t…I didn’t want you know how weak and powerless I felt.”

__

“And the Void?”

__

“I’m not afraid, not anymore. I thought I wasn’t before all this but it only showed that I never truly got over my fear. Even after suppressing that burning emptiness inside me, mastering the Void, and becoming a Voidwalker…I was afraid. Carina showed me that the moment she wielded Void Light. I’m ashamed to call myself a Voidwalker after this, let alone a Warlock.”

__

“I know you do, but I don’t think you should feel ashamed of it. You thought you were where you wanted to be. Having a family and raising Carina was a test. You weren’t where you thought you were and it forced you to deal with it.”

__

Carver’s lips pressed to a thin line, Cornelia continuing when he didn’t speak.

__

“I mean, you didn’t deal with it the best way but you did nonetheless. Your went face to face with your fears and you overcame them. That’s pretty brave of you, I don’t know of many Warlocks as brave as you, Carver. Carina is going to become a very strong Warlock when she’s older, and we’ll have you to thank for that.”

__

“Are you sure you’re a Titan? That’s some pretty Warlock sounding pep-talk I’ve ever heard.”

__

“Light above, I only sound like that because of you,” she grumbled, “though I think I’m pretty lucky to have married a kind and compassionate Warlock like you.”

__

“Traveler forgive me, you’re too good to me, even after everything,” he smiled, taking her hand in his, “How was I lucky enough to marry a strong and caring Titan like you.”

__

“I guess it was the Traveler’s will, if you want to get sappy about it,” she chuckled, squeezing his hand, “Are you ready to head back? Or would you like more time to yourself?”

__

“I think I’m done being alone for a good while, let’s get back. Avia can only handle Carina for so long and might feel overworked with both her and Grier.”

__

Nodding, the two summoned their ships and headed back to Earth, going straight back to their home. They opened the door and Avia was right in front of them.

__

“Well it’s about time!” she huffed, jabbing a finger into Carvers chest, “You owe me big time for all this.”

__

“Ah, yes, right, my apologies Avia,” Carver lifted his hands in surrender, “We thank you for watching Carina for us.”

__

Avia walked past them, grumbling something about Warlocks, Grier coming up behind.

__

“She’s just annoyed from earlier when we were on the Dreadnaught, I may have dragged us into a fight with a Fanatic of Crrota,” he grinned, “We won of course, but she wasn’t ready for it. Did… did everything go alright? Cornelia explained a little bit but I was worried.”

__

“Yeah,” Carver answered, Cornelia going past them, “I was in over my head and I wasn’t thinking or acting rationally, but I’ve worked on it and talked to her about it and I feel like I’ve finally gotten where I need to be. Not just for Carina’s sake but my own.”

__

“That’s wonderful to hear!” Grier said excitedly, pulling his friend into a hug, Carver hugged back tight and the two parted. Grier continued on after Avia and waved goodbye. Carver went in, closing the door behind him. Carina was playing with her toys on the floor when she looked up and saw him. Immediately getting up she ran to him, wrapping her tiny arms around his legs.

__

“Papa! Play with me! Mama said you finished all your studies, right? Will you play with me then?”

__

“Honey, I told you, your father needs his rest first,” Cornelia called out to them.

__

“What? ‘Rest’? Who has time for that?” Carver grinned down at his daughter, “I’m feeling quite refreshed if you ask me.”

__

Carina beamed up at him, grabbing his hand with both of hers. Cornelia eyed him and he just smiled at her. The two played together for a couple hours before Carver saw she had something on her mind. He sat on the floor as she stood, moving her toys around from the game they were going to play.

__

“Do you want to see the stars, Carina?”

__

“Not tonight, Papa…”

__

“How come, Starlight? Is it cause they hurt that one time?”

__

She nodded, looking up at him.

__

“I only wanted to make them like you do, It looked so easy and I thought I could. It hurt pretty bad…Mama’s ghost was able to heal me but I’m still scared of it burning me again…”

__

“Well that’s alright, isn’t it? It’s okay to be scared. I know I was!”

__

“But Papa you’re not scared of anything!” she exclaimed, turning to him.

__

“That’s where you’re wrong, Starlight, I was scared for a very long time. The stars used to burn me too, not even just my hands, they used to burn me wherever they felt like it.”

__

Carina went over to her father and sat in his lap, he wrapped his arms loosely around her as she grabbed his hands, playing with them.

__

“Did it hurt when they burned you, Papa?”

__

“Mhmm…”

__

“Did it scare you?”

__

“Yeah, it was very scary…”

__

“Did it ever stop burning?”

__

“Yes it did, they stopped burning me a long time ago.”

__

“How come? Why did they stop?” she asked, still playing with his hands as they sat together, Carver placing his chin on top of her head.

__

“I learned to control the stars, like how I show you?”

__

“So did you stop being scared then?”

__

“I though I wasn’t scared, but I was wrong,” he hummed.

__

“Really? How come you were still scared?” she asked.

__

“I was scared when the stars burned you, that they might burn you badly like they did to me. I didn’t want you to get hurt,” he muttered to her.

__

“Oh..” was all she could respond, she went quiet.

__

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to show you how to hold the stars properly, maybe they wouldn’t have burned you then.”

__

“It’s okay, Papa, I forgive you. I’d be scared too I bet!”

__

They sat together in silence for a while longer, Carver enjoying just being there with his beautiful daughter, listening to her talk to herself as she continued to play with his hands, like she was looking to see if she could see his old burns. After a few minutes, she looked up at him.

__

“Papa, can I see the stars?” she grinned, “If you’re not scared of them anymore then I’m not!”

__

He smiled softly, nodding. She let go of his hands and leaned back against his chest as he drew forth some Void light in his hands, letting the energy swirl around and glow, just like before.

__

“Do you want to try to hold it? I’ll be here to help you,” he asked.

__

“Yeah,” she said after a moment of thought, “Promise to help me?”

__

“I promise, now hold up your hands like I am right now. That’s my girl, just like that. Hold still, I’m gonna move it into your hands then move mine to hold yours. Understand?”

__

“Yes, Papa, I’m ready!”

__

As promised, Carver slowly moved the Void Light into Carina’s waiting hands, letting her hold it by herself just a brief moment before placing his hands under hers. She stared in awe at the energy floating in her hands.

__

“Carina, what does it feel like? Holding the stars in your hands?” he asked curiously.

__

“It’s…warm, like your hugs, Papa!”

__

He chuckled, internally relieved at her response.

__

“That’s good, Carina, very good. I can teach you to do that yourself if you want. To make the stars yourself and learn to control it like I do.”

__

“Is it hard?”

__

“Well learning anything new will be difficult, but I think you can do it, I believe in you.”

__

She smiled up at him, looking back at the Void Light, watching it.

__

“Can I try holding it by myself?”

__

“If you’re sure about it.”

__

She nodded, and he slowly let his hands drop away from hers and she sat there on his lap, holding it all by herself. She smiled brightly as Cornelia came into the room, seeing the two and the Void Light in her hands.

__

“Carver, is she-“

__

“She’s alright, I showed her how to do it after helping her hold it. She wanted to try for herself, I think she’s doing rather well.”

__

“You’re right, she is,” Cornelia smiled, coming in and sitting next to them. She looked to Carver and only saw the joy and admiration for their child. Cornelia smiled, resting her head on his shoulder as they watched Carina.

__

“I think we’ll be alright,” Cornelia whispered to him, Carver nodded in agreement.

__

“We’ll be just fine…” he whispered back.

__

**Author's Note:**

> Carver and Carina are my characters, Cornelia is lostinthehaywoods' (tumblr) character, Grier is pinstripe-doodles' (tumblr) character, Avia is nerdy-kins' (tumblr) character.


End file.
